BLADAH!

Power outtages at work.

People I need to can.

People I need to hire.

People I need to meet the expectations of.

People I should communicate with (some of which, aren't people).

People I'd REALLY LIKE to consume alcohol with.

People I need to understand WHY DID YOU JUST DO THAT YOU FUCKING MORON?

People I want to feed.

People I need to convince that lavender will actually reduce stress.

People I need to convince that I would make a good tenant.

People I'd like to know who would love to help me move on New Years Eve?


Yup. That just about sums that all up.

Bubbling over with boiling water

So, our SHITTY water ban is still in effect. Which sucks if you don't have a dishwasher. I don't have a dishwasher and so I am currently waiting for my 6th kettle of water to finish boiling, then cool off enough so that I can pour it all over dishes so that I can soap them up so that I can rinse them off again with said boiled water.

Makes me think what it would be like to live in a place where the water was like this all the time.

And to boot? They aren't even my dishes! I have my own stack at home, but I am so freaking manically depressed right now that I can't even bear to be in my own home. I hate it. I really do just simply hate it. So I am currently spending the time washing the Audiophiles dishes because I really do believe that if I do something nice for someone I MAY feel a bit better. I don't even want to really go outside and deal with the public. The thought of it makes me ill.

I guess that has a lot to do with the fact that I am currently working in an environment were I am constantly in contact with other people trying to appease them in all sorts of ways. Now don't get me wrong. I think my job is great. But right now, for some reason its really just getting to me as to how much I just don't want to be part of my civilization. I suppose its because we're gearing up for Christmas and quite frankly, I hate Christmas.

Oh, I love getting together with family and enjoying a visit and a nice meal and all that, but I don't think that is what Christmas is all about. I see Christmas as - Ugh I don't know, just thinking about it makes me tired.

Eh, whatever. I probably feel this way because I force myself to be high energy all day for 5 days in a row for about 10 hours a day and then just crash at the end of the week. Plus I have a weekday off, and so everyone I know is at work and busy and I sit here totally wondering where I am going to get the energy to return a few movies to the movie store and how few people I will need to be in contact with while I do it.

I think I am going to finish the dishes and go to bed. I am tired.

And then it was spoketh, I have no integrity.

HOLY FUCK FUCK ASS FUCK.

So I go to this *thing*. Out of respect of the *thing* I will refer it to the *thing*. Also known as a CULT. REALLY. Or maybe not. I dunno. Maybe they got to me?

So, I go away this weekend, and do this thing. It's supposedly in existence to teach me how to be a better person. Or whatever the fuck.

Am I after taking this course?

I don't really know. I know though that I have said I want to put my fist through a face more often than not lately and oh holy hell seems to be a bit of a catch phrase I've picked up. Probably at the bar.

So, yeah. This thing. It was being held by this fucking TOOL. HOLY FUCK TOOL ARE YOU JACKASS.

He made me so angry I really REALLY wanted to put my fist through his face but really it was just a moment where I was bringing the past into the future presently and was suffering from some sort of lacking of the integrity or some shit. Whatev.

So yeah. It's like sleep deprevation, food deprevation, suggested ALCOHOL deprevation and I was like what the fuck is that all about.

By the way? Fuck is my favourite word today. I am committed to it, and will keep my word.

Word.

So yeah. I am fucking tired and I am going to go to bed. Really, this whole story is way better in person, because I dance and sing and cry (oh wait. I am dead inside. Because I didn't cry. Or sorry, I am so suppressed I just don't even realize that I have issues buried deep inside.) I dunno, I seem to be a pretty vocal person for a dead person.

Still Alive...

Just working lots, and whoa? Some serious introspection. I may get into it, I may not.

One thing though?

Think about a time when you thought you were adamantly right, and then realized that the whole time you've just been lying to yourself and you are the only one who didn't know that you were lying.

Confessions of a Drunkard?

Oh boy. You know you're exhausted when you drink half a beer and you are fairly zonked. Prolly has to do with the not eating all day, and working a 12 hour day sans break. Don't get me wrong. I would have gone on one if I knew what time it was? But by the time I knew what time it was, I was already having to close the store. Sweet holy Jesus.

I've been officially managing my store now for 2 days? And I rule. Yup. I do. And so do the folks who work for me. I have to say, they are awesome fantastic folk.

I ALSO realized? That I am totally always at work. Today the Audiophile was like:

WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR SCHEDULE AND WHEN DO I GET TO SEE YOU NEXT? I'M TURNING DOWN OFFERS TO HANG OUT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHEN YOU ARE FREE. WHEN ARE YOU FREE?

I was like:

Aw. I feel special. I am off these two days. Lets get together tomorrow too.

In fact? These 2 days will be my first 2 full days off in a row where I will not be working on ANYTHING since I've started. I have told the world that I am not available for any work what-so-ever on either of these 2 days. No bookkeeping. No classes. No tied to the phone for work. Nothing. Sweet hot action (literally?).

So Saturday, I am going to see Plastic Nation World Body Works the Tenth or whatever the fuck that shit is called, at Telus Science Sphere World Consumer Whore Building. Thingy. Thing.

Sweet.

And Seinfeld is the Greatest show. I swear.

Oh. And I get to watch Exorcist The Beginning tomorrow night. Fun.

I'll be sure to post about that experience.

Hey DC, remember when you and Ted and I watched the Exorcist together in your basement? That was sweet fun.

Blah, Blah, Therapy, blah Blah BLAH!

So dudes out there, just wanted you to know that on Wednesday I did part of my masters for Reiki. What an amazing experience. Holy Doodle. Or better yet? Whoa fuckin' eh.

So, I have one more step to go and I can teach. It'll be a while before I do that, I want to play with the energies for a bit before I move on. My mom picked me up an entry level massage table, so I think I am going to start giving treatments. A nice little way to make a bit of extra income, I think. Plus BONUS when you give a person a Reiki treatment you end up inadvertently giving yourself a mini one.

One of the women I work with, she'll be taking her level three with the same teacher I have, and because of all the changes in the store she wasn't sure if she would be able to get a day off where she could take the course. I was able to swing it, and she gave me a bag of crystals as a gift, in a Ganesh bag. I thought that was pretty cool. I mean first off she was appreciative of being allowed to get the time off, and second she was SO happy I was the manager of the store. Talk about being made to feel good. I don't think I've ever experienced that at any other job.

But OMG I have the PLEASURE of dealing with some of the most weird people. I love the assumptions that because I work in a fairly high end neighbourhood, that I can afford to shop and eat out in said high end neighbourhood. HARHAR. Actually it's pretty funny to deal with. You just smile as they go on about places you've never heard before, or you have and in the past made comments like "When I win the lottery? I am so shopping, eating or what have you - there." Sadly, I can't really get into details about it, partly out of respect for those who come into the store, and secondly out of respect of the place that I work for. Respect for me? What is that (actually I have an immense amount of self respect. I rule.)

But totally unrelated to the work or the people who visit. Bus driver of the 99 that I took at 4:45pm today? You? Are a terrible driver. I think when your whole bus yells WHOA and what the Fuck and Holy Fuck and shit ass Fucker (alright, maybe THOSE ones were said by me) and tumble down the aisle as you screech to a halt on a dime at a already very stale yellow light is an indication that um you drive WAY too fast (Or? You suck at driving). Oh. Right. You stopped only because there was a cop in the oncoming traffic. Right. So, running the yellow/red light, and risk getting a ticket (is that even possible?), or going from 60 to 0 in 3 seconds and in 10 feet and being responsible for the carnage of people flying down the middle of the bus.

I loved it when about 1/3 of the people fled the bus at the next stop after that. I think the best line was:

Guy 1: Holy shit this guy sucks!

Guy 2: Yeah. Totally. He's going to kill someone.

Guy 1: Dude, did you see when he flew through that marked crosswalk? And the people had to stop in the intersection?

Guy 2: Yeah. I think I am getting off at the next stop, he's freaking me out. I'm gonna catch the next one.

Funny? The dude got off the bus. He was serious, yo.

OH! I get to see Yo La Tengo tomorrow night! Whoo!

Have a great weekend y'all.

11 bottles...

Currently I have 11 bottles of essential oils on my mantle. No, I don't use the fireplace so it isn't a hot place, in fact it's probably the safest place for my EO's right now.

So. Today was my first day as a manager. I got to work a 1/2 hour early, and left 3 hours after my shift. I spent the majority of that time CLEANING. My god, the back room of this place is an EFFING tip.

But. BUT. I got to see Bob Dylan last night. Honestly, it was an amazing show. I kept saying to the Audiophile "Holy Shit. That's Bob Dylan! I am watching Bob Dylan! Dude! Bob Dylan just put on a hat! Bob Dylan is the shit!" etc. etc.

And he played that song I posted a while ago. Damn fine song. And absolutely brilliantly done last night if you ask me.

My dad came by my store today to drop something off and to do one thing and one thing only. Take a picture of me on my first day as manager.

Now that? Is pretty awesome. Made me smile for the rest of the day.

Now. I am tired? Finishing a beer and heading off to bed.

Maybe one day I'll actually get to write more regularly...

GAH.

Vietnamese food and Kronenbourg 1664 taste REALLY good together. Really good.

What a long day. Moving furniture, moving products, moving STUFF. And I get to do it all over again. But, HELLO. It's my store! I get to make my store look how I'd like it to be! With help of course. Of COURSE. Good lord.

I get to do it again tomorrow! YAY! But this time I should be able to get off before 6:15pm. Oh, I started at 8:30 this morning. Eh, it's worth it. You should see it. My store is beautiful.

Ugh. So tired. Beer taste good. Food taste good. Mmm. Good.

Ooh! Bob Dylan!

Two Hundred and One...

Happy 201st post!

Good god. I am EXHAUSTED. So much to learn in such a little amount of time. My management position is ocurring under a little bit of duress. The current manager is moving to the new store opening up and so, I am filling her position. Here's the crunch.

I've got 1.5 weeks left to learn everything about managing a store I am just learning how to function as a normal sales folk. Can you say *intense*? But I tell you, even though I am totally exhausted out of my melon, I am really enjoying it. Mostly. There are definitely some folks who come in who aren't so very erm... zen. But whatever. I can't let myself get hung up on it. Besides, who can get hung up when they smell like soap?

Popular scent has it at: Lavender.

Music to therap-ize by?

The Cure: Mixed Up

*Ahem* *Tap* *Tap*

I am pleased to announce that I have been promoted to the manager's position at the aromatherapy store that I work at.

*bows*

Now I am going to go out and throw myself a party.

Seriously. This is amazing. I feel so amazing. I love my job. Sure, I deal with the public, and some of the folks are sour and dour and won't take a moment and laugh, but whatever, they will learn, and if they don't from me, well then I wasn't meant to be their teacher. But I get to help folks who are looking for a way to get themselves back on track or feel better or just feel good. What an amazing feeling.

Walking Babble.

Good god am I tired.

But I feel pretty good. Mostly.

I walk to work everyday, sort of my tribute to the environment. Because I can conceivably walk that distance in my mind, I do it physically, however it is becoming more apparent (due to the horrendously tired body I have) that my mind travels a whole lot farther than my body likes to do. Mind you, I suppose that is a good thing, because geeze, I don't want to be limited in the mind department.

But really, I walk to work everyday. It works out to 15 blocks. That isn't really that many blocks if you think about it. However. I live in a city where blocks are long. So let me put it to you guys this way. It takes me 30 minutes to walk at a fairly brisk pace. So that is 1 hour of walking to and from work, if I choose to walk the route that I do. Some days though, and this is because I get off of work at 1:30 or 3:30 or what have you, I like to take the "scenic route". And truly? It is truly scenic, and as I walk it makes me glad to know that I am making a contribution towards my environment by walking. This scenic route includes about 50 minutes of water front strolling (also at a good pace. I don't know how to 'stroll'.). My god, its beautiful.

So with standing all day, walking about 1 hour to 1 hour 20 minutes (and that isn't including the 45 minutes to The Audiophiles house if I go there), I get home and I. Am. Tired. And hungry! I've started investing in organic foods (another attempt at making a contribution to the environment and community), and seriously the food tastes better. It really actually does. Between all that walking and the tasty food, I am surprised I haven't eaten myself out of house and home yet.

The job is going good. Apparently last week I did such an awesome job that I got a gift/bonus thing yesterday. Totally unexpected. And today, I was told by one of the newer employees (we've hired a lot of new folks) "Wow, you really know a lot about aromatherapy!" I was dumbfounded. I really actually do!

The customers too, are really cool. I met a Yoga instructor who made such impression that I think I have found someone I would like to study with and work towards my teacher training. Yeah, I may feel a bit down, a lot of it has to do with a sudden realization that HOLY CRAP we are a totally distructive species, and that WOW I am a major contributor. So, I am trying to make an effort.

And She Sucketh All the Way Home.

I sucked today.
(But I did not blow, you dirty l'il fuckers)

I met the CEO of the company, that didn't suck. She is really awesome. I really do hope I made a good impression.

Partly though, because I wasn't expecting her to be there, my whole day was thrown off. Usually? I don't do so well when my day has been thrown off. I should really work on that.

People today, were insane. Totally and utterly insane. And then I had a turkey sandwich for lunch/dinner and well, I got all sleepy by the end of my shift and was basically an incoherent babbling mess.

I find that I work best when I am alone, and don't feel the pressure of being watched. I guess that is pretty normal? But today I did work with a super awesome person, I really found her to be intelligent and interesting, and not to mention interested in all the same things I am when it comes to quote un quote MUMBO JUMBO. So, yeah. It was a good day in that sense; the CEO, the cool person I worked with today, but the sucky part was there are some people out there who just won't ever be happy or nice. Ah well.

And another kicker in the ass? I got my VISA bill today, and I owe lots of money. I got my Shaw bill the other day and I owe lots of money. I can't afford this shit anymore. *sigh* But to make it super special? I didn't get my cheque in the mail today. So I am out of luck until the end of the weekend. I currently have: $14.34.

God I wish I was better at handling my money.

I suck. But Stephen Colbert is Hot, and so? The world's alright.

Well, and there's the Audiophile too. Sorry Mr. Colbert, but The 'Phile is truly hotter than you. But the two of you together? Wow.

Hot.

Guess Where I am?

Yup. At that job I left. I have reports I have to do because I didn't get to do them on the Friday due to my uber energy field screwing up the computers. *sigh* I get to work a 6 day week!

But ANYWAY...

I am here, and boy I can tell you? Environment has everything to do with how one feels about their job. I immediately felt so drained when I walked in here. At my other job, I feel tired until I get there, and then because it smells so good, I feel energized and there are lots of things to distract you. Here? I've got a raging head ache.

Last night, I watched the biggest spider run out from underneath my table where the T.V. lives, and along the fireplace and under the couch. The couch I was sitting on. Now, I am convinced these fuckers are psychic. Because when I saw it, and looked at it? It stopped dead in its 8 tracks and then ran FULL TILT under the couch. I didn't even have time to grab a shoe and thwack it.

So, there I am at 11:00pm watching Jon Stewart and wondering where the hell that spider went. OMG. So HUGE. I thought it was a mouse initially. Yes, seriously. A mouse. It stood off the ground a good 1.5 inches. I text message The Audiophile because I needed a distraction, he advised that I 'roll up a paper and beat the fuck next time it shows its face!'.

Well, I didn't know where it went, at least at that point in the evening. With my little legs tucked under me and pecariously peering around my couch and the heaters near me, lifting up various pieces of yoga gear to ensure it didn't crawl into my mats, I settled down and finished watching Jon Stewart, and the Colbert Report. FYI? I think Stephen Colbert is fucking HOT. I have a major love crush on Mr. Colbert. Yeah. That's right. Mr. Colbert? You are a serious hunk of manly man-ness and you can scream YES to me any day...

*Ahem*

I am referring to the EVEN STEVENS (YES! NO! YES! NO!). Geeze.

So, there I am watching the hotness that is Stephen Colbert, when suddenly darting from its orginal location of behind the TV, the Giant Spider. Well, of course I am wondering now, HOLY FUCK is there more than 1 in this place (YUP, PROBABLY)? And with it's spidey senses tingling it ran quickly across the floor and ran into the leg of one of my chairs. And stopped. I stared it down. It stared me down. Or at least I think it was. I couldn't tell because I was too overwhelmed by the size of it, and the fact it was drinking a Bud and smoking a Camel Filterless. Yes, this spider was (yeah, it's dead) a serious bad ass.

I rolled up the paper like the Audiophile had instructed. And I beat the crap out of it. It was a serious brawl, y'all. It smashed it's bottle and tried to cut me and it stuck the cigarette in my eye, and I flew into a rage and just kept smashing it, smashing it, oh the horror. It was so horrible!

I basically slept with one eye open after that. I know that his buddies will be out for blood.

The Heat is On

No, seriously. The heat is finally fucking on.

Yeah.

So, I still smell like das soaps. And I successfully spurted massage oil all over myself today. At work. In front of customers. I was fully clothed, just so you know.

It's a good job, except that it's a huge cut in pay.

What does that mean?

I'm probably gonna have to move.

Ugh.

Rubba dub dub

I smell like various essential oils. In fact, everything I own that was with me at work today smells like luxury. Mmmm... essentials.

How Fortuitous

Yes.

I come in to work, turn my computer on, check the work emails, do the check bank account - ensure pay thing and go say hi to my mother. Come back and the computer is dead. Yup dead. Parched for a disk boot system, because it failed. Press Enter. Fail to comply. Abort. Abort. Dead.

So I am using this fancy laptop that has none of the reports I need to complete before I leave, and so I am to come in on Thursday next week to finish 'the job' and then? Who knows. The world is my (very poor) oyster.

Oh! And my boss then tells me I can leave when I want then because of the computer being dead and all (no tech support until Monday), and then I find out that my book keeping package won't be in until probably 4:00pm. So I have to wait - all day, until then. With TRULY no work to do. Hey, I've always had work to do, and I do get it done, I am just too efficient, and so drag it out over long periods of time, that way I have a full days worth of work. Recommended action by my co workers. Really, I am far to efficient. And now done with the self pompous ass-ness.

Right now the radio is playing 'You spin me right 'round baby, right 'round.' Oh yes. Groovy.

*sputter*

I start my new job next week. For this I am excited.

I had a few thoughts on that other blog, here and here, if you are at all interested in meditation and an recount of that experience to a horrible realization that I am contributing to the demise of the planet.

Such juxtapostion.

I am all a flutter. I think it has to do with the change in the season. Sadly, I have come to realize that this hasn't happened yet. In fact fall won't actually happen until the 23 of September.

But isn't it funny how much our society/culture/'po. mo. whatever the hell' puts its consumer imprint on something so non consumeristic (is that even a word?) as seasons changing? I mean the Equinox is a planetary/solar event, not an arbitrary selection of time and space to go Fall Sale shopping (well, I guess TECHNICALLY it is [an arbitrary selection], we've assigned this particular planetary/solar event with the name FALL EQUINOX and have made it to indicate a change in what we call SEASONS, but thats just semantics really, and truly people? Fall Equinox is not synonymous to A Fall Sale of Clothing Extraordinaire: On now until September 15th - which is STILL SUMMER.).

I was sitting on the bus, deep in thought (I am currently re-reading Aldous Huxley's Island, and that will put you deep in thought) when I looked up and into the window of the Shoppers DrugMart and saw halloween gear. HALLOWEEN GEAR. September 13th was yesterday right? So that puts Halloween approximately 48 days away (so don't delay! Visit your local Gap store for cute costumes for your kids!). You know what will happen as soon as Halloween is past and gone? Christmas Decorations will come out.

We are rushing people! Rush, Rush, Rush. We are talking about fall being here before it happens, and before fall has even reached its adolecence we are going to throw ourselves into the thick of winter.

No wonder we are all so screwed up with stress and anxiety. We tell our children not to wish their time away, that it is precious. But what kind of example are we setting when we freak out about events that aren't taking place MONTHS from now, right now (order your turkeys folks before the end of October or you won't have one! And what kind of people are you if you don't have a turkey for Christmas dinner? Shame on you!)? These events were taken, transformed and then manufactured so that we can consume more.

I mean, I am not even Christian, but I celebrate Christmas. Why? Think about it. If you aren't Jewish, do you celebrate Hannukah? Probably not. So, if you aren't Christian, then why the hell are you celebrating Christmas? Oh! I get it, because it doesn't actually mean celebrating the birth of Christ anymore, it's about how much of your year end bonus you spent on purchasing things for your family that they don't really need. We also call this TRADITION.

Geeze, all this brought on by plastic pumpkins. Wow.

Rather than thinking Summer is over, think about how magical the time of year is when the seasons blend into each other. Rather than lamenting the loss of summer (which hasn't HAPPENED YET, you only think it has because bathing suits and beach mats have gone on sale by 75%), celebrate its last beautiful days. Rather than rushing into the next holiday, and it's hard not to since we are all stuck in this consumer cycle (which is truly by choice, you could stop it if you wanted to), just slow down. Even for a moment. You don't have to give up Christmas if you don't want to, but think, do you really need to get your friend a gift thats just so? Why not make her something? Can't make something? Learn how. Wow, you could learn something new, and give a great gift. And if the idea of not getting the perfect gift for someone is going to ruin your relationship with them, are they really that great of a friend then? Argh, I digress.

My point is this. Stop rushing time, and yourself. Step back from being sucked into the consumeristic mentality. Take a moment and think what is actually pushing you to rush. Is it you pushing? For what? Is it necessary? Will what you are rushing for going to cause you harm, pain, grief if you stop rushing? And enjoy the REST OF THE SUMMER, theres another 9 days left.