HOLY HELL WHERE THE HELL...

Have I been, AGAIN?

Dudes, I have been out in the concrete wilderness. Speaking with the spirits of the urban forest. Gathering the herbs and oils in order to transfix the world into a world of not doing. Pacifying demons and trudging through the muck with fallen angels.

Behold! I have procured with hallucinagenics an abode of such riches, where I can perform my rituals of eating, waking and sleeping. I happen to be living in one of the oldest, wealthiest neighbourhoods in Vancouver. What the fuck? Maybe I am just high on peyote. Lemme check.

...

Uh, nope. Apparently I live in Shaughnessy. Sweet hot sexy action.

It happened during a conversation with the high enchantress of the universe next to ours. I think it had a number in it. Like 7 or something. She told me that there were all sorts of places as I had dreamed about, I just had to let go of the reality that I live in and WHALA it would appear before me.

In an alcohol induced trance I talked with the Queen of the Underworld and she too, told me that I needed to go forth and surf the web of internet deeper that I had ever before. I needed to go past the earth plane and seek my answers within the deepest pits of the List of Craig. Craig was a sorcerer of immense magnitiude and held forth many books - books on furnishings, the theory of searching for anything and the theisis of living accomadations. Please pardon my erroneous spellings, I have been through much trials and tribulations. I have seen many things.

As a result, I focused my will and intent on a space so other worldly that even those who have mastered this technique were fearful that I would succumb to the world of couch surfing forever. But a bright and true sprite kept my vision alive as I wandered though the dense forest of nothingness and messiness.


Behold! I recieved a message though the web's dense forest of hell and through our technological existence and found a glimmer of phonics that shone like the northern star. A place so close and yet so far blossomed forth like a crystal castle in the far distance. The horizon played with my senses. Is it true? Is it really actually true? With apprension and fear I trudged on, death to my left and always within arms reach. He cackled lightly, and made his putrid breath be known. "It will be of nothing. You know you will hate it." The sprite said otherwise. "It will be grand. Go to the light."

I wandered between the tall rubbery pillars. Walked the stairs. Pushed the button of fortune or fail. I entered. I stumbled through the maze of portals. So many doors of otherness. I sought out the fibres of life, and saw some in the distance that resembled the numeric symbols I was searching for.

Behold. A place so magnificent I cried. It was exactly as I imagined it to be. Death sighed and faded, the light grew brighter.

I was home.

Now the wait is almost done. Two more sleeps...