Okay, okay...okay..okay, okay...

So, WTF is up with me? Geeze, I am trying to be deep and with feeling - attempting to understand the universe, imparting deep philosophical notions on ways to look at the world, to not let things get to you - to live your life, and yet I can't even keep myself out of a funk. WTF?

YET again deleting a post that is expressing this dark period. Well, yes the world can be an awful place... and it might be right now, but no more. So this post is about the positivities of Gwyn.

I can walk. I can eat Indian food and Japanese food. I can do the four limbed staff pose and the boat pose for more than 5 seconds. I can almost do the crane pose, and the firefly pose. I am able to put my head past my knees when standing. I can do... 18 manly-man push ups in a row. I have a great laugh. And a wicked smile. I don't have to wear a bra all the time (yes).

I don't have a terminal illness. I can take a vitamin B shot in the arm and not cry.

My eyes are the natural blue that you see. I don't need botox, and know I will never want it. I am 5 feet 3.5 inches! I am able to meditate for more than 10 minutes without going crazy. I have my own business. I take metal and make it into something worthwhile, something meaningful, something beautiful. I am an artist. I am creative.

I have neat handwriting, when I choose to write by hand. I love to write. I can sing a wicked bad ass musical number, and dance at the same time. I can do a soft shuffle. I can do a cartwheel sometimes... and when I can't, I fall over and love it! I can drink beer. I know beer. I love beer. But I don't have a beer gut! I quit smoking. I have my health.

I can lose myself in the moment. I can be uninhibited. I am emotional - and I love very hard. I am passionate. I feel everything, and care for everyone.

I had a 3.87 GPA after the summer semester in college; thats 3 A's and 2 -A's. I am intellegent and funny. I can use electic tools, and saws don't scare me. I can work in a high end boutique or a paper mill - and I can find the fun in either. I can (and have) build bird houses out of popsicle sticks without plans.

I can say that I have lived on 2 continents. I can say that I have lived, that I have experience. With that, I can help a person through a crisis. I can help myself. I can laugh at my dire situation, because I know that I am going to get through this. I can say I love my friends, and that they love me back. I can say that we will always be there for each other. With all honesty I can say that I am a good person, and I can do anything, survive anything, and no one, NO ONE can or will take that away from me.



I feel better... now if I can just get through this...