Because I think too hard.

I paid off that stupid parking ticket yesterday. Part of me wanted to pay in pennies (that would be 5 thousand, 5 hundred pennies please) and ship it via Collect; another part of me wanted to write a cheque for the amount of 54 dollars and 49 cents and attach a note stating that 'You can collect the 51 cents from the Postal Service of Canada.' But no, I didn't. Instead I vented anger by slamming my 'POSTED' stamp on the invoice they sent me and sent it back to them with my cheque where I had written 'Fifty Five Dollars ONLY ---------- xx/100' because they will sense the anger I had from the stamp and the giant ONLY I furiously scribbled on the Cheque.

Last night, as I was sitting in my dark apartment wondering when the water would stop spewing out of my kitchen sink, I noticed that when I yawned there was this squelching noise inside my left ear. I poked at it a bit under the earlobe; plugged my nose and tried to pop the air out of my ears; brought my shoulder up to my ear and sort of squiggled about - only to aggrevate the squishy sound in my ear even more. And now? I have a dull ache deep inside the canal of my ear. I don't know if it is as a result of the squidgy sounds (and therefore an EAR INFECTION -EW EW EW) or if the ache is as a result of basically trying to cram my entire left arm into my ear through my neck. I will have to wait and see, and will keep you posted.

I seem to have moved on from being depressed to being slightly motivated. The trouble is I am motivated but I don't know what I am motivated about. I find this feeling very strange. Almost like a disembodied sort of motivation. Floating Head Motivation (ooh, cause for the ear ache??).

So what does a person do in this limbo state of motivation (now refered to as LIMSMO) and how do they climb out of LIMSMO (there is this fabulous voice in my head everytime I write LIMSMO - sort of an echoey deep booming circa 1950's Atomic Family Advertisement for Vacuums voice) in order to be just Motivated? I guess part of my problem is I have a lot of things in mind that I would like to be doing, and very little idea as to how to achieve even some of them. I also fear that because I am so completely dissatisfied with my current position, I will come up with ideas that sound GREAT! AWESOME! SO WHO I AM! THRIVE! THRIVE!!!! BECAUSE BECOMING A PARASAILING INSTRUCTOR WOULD BE SOOOO YOU! Sure it would be.

(I am so kidding)

So folks, it is LIST TIME! The List that destroyed LIMSMO!! *waves flag* I'm going to create a list of all the things I can do, want to do, not want to do, where I want to be, what I want to be (gotta be me!) and well you get the picture.

...

*scribble scribble*

...

*scribble*

Yeah, I'll post it, don't worry.


Music to be motivated by (been a while):

Spiritualized: Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space.