This post it brought to you by the letter 'R'

(the 'R' stands for Ravishing don't you know)

I have been sucked into the black vortex of celebrity/sibling pressure. Not my sibling, because after me my parents didn't need to continue breeding (Perfection! Right! Here!), but the Audiophile's youngest and sweetest sibling who was (and still is) visiting with her lovely husband.

It involved a little box with 3 bottles in it, a 25 minute wait time and a DRASTIC difference in results ( I keep spelling RESLUT, what the hell does that mean?). Oh, and it's void of any colour (If you don't know your colour theory, that's black).

Yes, instead of looking like the lovely Debbie Harry of Blondie fame? I now look like Joan Jett. And yes, baby. I love rock n' roll.

MEME.

I stole this from DM, a friend of The Teacher. I loved hers and it cheered me up. So, in need of good cheer, here I go (my answers are in italics)!

MEME-OLOGY

GRUB-OLOGY

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch with lots o' bacon.
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? I am not a fan of fast food. If I had to choose it would be Wendy's.
What is your favorite sit down restaurant? Either Nyala or The Main, on you guessed it: Main St.
On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? Depends on the service. Always at least 15%, generally between that and 20%.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Considering I only eat maybe once a day, sushi.
Name three foods you detest above all others. Liver, liver and onions and liver.
What is your favorite dish to order in a Chinese restaurant? Kung Pao Chicken
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Tomatoes, Green Peppers, Mushrooms and Black Olives.
What do you like to put on your toast? Peanut butter and strawberry Jam
What is your favorite type of gum? Whatever The 'Phile chews. Excel or some shit.

TECH-OLOGY

Number of contacts in your cell phone? About 75
Number of contacts in your email address book? Not about 75, maybe 12 or so.
What is your wallpaper on your computer? At work, the moon. At home a picture of The 'Phile giving me a kiss on my birthday.
What is your screensaver on your computer? At work a scroll that says 'If you can see this then I haven't touched my computer in 10 minutes.' I often see that. At home, it's that Windows XP thing that flits about the screen.
Are there naked pictures saved on your computer? Um, hello? Is the Pope Catholic?
How many land line phones do you have in your house? Well, I have 1 land LINE and 2 Handsets or phones. Plus one phone for the intercom. But this is a funny question to me. If you asked how many phones (just phones) do I have in the house I would have to say 5. I've got intercom phones all over the place that aren't useful anymore, but would ruin the walls of the apartment if they were removed so the owner just left them.
How many televisions are in your house? One.
What kitchen appliance do you use the least? The oven. I hate cooking in the oven.
What is the format of the radio station you listen to the most? I only listen to internet radio, and only at work. I personally dislike the radio. Oh, but in the car I listen to CBC Radio 2.
How many sex toys do you own that require batteries? Well, wouldn't you like to know, you filthy bastards. One.

BI-OLOGY

What do you consider to be your best physical attribute? My Ass. I have a great ass. And eyes. great eyes too.
Are you right handed or left handed? Legally I am right handed, secretly I am left handed.
Do you like your smile? Yeah. I have been told I have a killer smile.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Wisdom Teeth.
Would you like to? Yes, the implant the government has put into the back of my skull.
Do you prefer to read when you go to the bathroom? I spend a lot of time there so, yes. Yes I do.
Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? I have this crazy sense of smell, and a crazy sense of hearing too. I can hear my cellphone vibrate in the other room when the stereo is on, and smell the corroding battery as it happens.
When was the last time you had a cavity? Never had one thus far.
What is the heaviest item you lift regularly? My purse.
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Yes I have, by my boss. We were playing softball and I was the back catcher and he was the pitcher. He was such a fucking moronic over competitive twat that as soon as the person fouled the ball, he ran full speed towards me and knocked me off my feet, and out cold. We were on the same fucking TEAM!

MISC-OLOGY

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes, I would. That way I can get all my shit together, say sorry to the people I want to say sorry to, and spend quality time with my loved ones. Sad hey, that I have to know when I am going to die before I do any of that.
If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I have already done that once. But if I were to do it again? Um... Ceres.
How do you express your artistic side? I tell stories. Draw. Make monkeys out of yarn.
What color do you think you look best in? Blue!
How long do you think you could last in a medium security prison? Having never been sent to prison but have visited people in prison (this was in the UK)? Not long at all.
Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? Not in my adult life, although I am sure I had when I was a kid.
If we weren’t bound by society’s conventions, do you have a relative you would make a pass at? Ew, and moving on (I guess I am still bound by society's conventions. Boy do those run deep!)
How often do you go to church? I am sorry, What?
Have you ever saved someone’s life? I think so. I tried anyway.
Has someone ever saved yours? I am still here because of the many good people in my life.

DARE-OLOGY
For this last section, if you would do it for less or more money, indicate how much.
Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Show me the money, and I will show you my ass.
Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100? Who says I haven't already??
Would you have sex with a member of the same sex for $10,000? Nope.
Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Nope.
Would you never blog again for $50,000? Hell No.
Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000? Yup. But only with myself or with my partner.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? I am with DM on this one. Hell No, I don't need a gut ache or acid reflux for only $1000. Boo!
Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000? Nope. Even if I really wanted to, I wouldn't be able to do it.
Would you shave your head and get your entire body waxed for $5,000? I probably would yeah. In fact to cash in good? I would walk a half mile down a public street naked, to the salon to get waxed and shaved so I could sport a fabulous wig and be squeaky clean for my naked spread in the magazine.
Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? A year? Yeah, probably.

Wee! It's time to go home! Check y'all laters, have a great weekend.

I see Paris, I see France

I had an extraordinary dream last night, involving a dinner party with my friends, a hot pink cell phone and Paris Hilton beating me with a shoe. She kept hitting me in the head with it, saying something about me looking at her funny. And I just stood there because I couldn't quite get over how her hair never moved.

I haven't quite figured out the significance , but if anyone feels they want to interpret it, by all means. I personally am at a loss.

So, I am still TOTALLY bummed about my failing the accounting course. And I figured out what percentage I would have received in order to have failed that exam. I needed to get 50% on the exam to achieve 65% exactly (which is what you need to pass) so, lets do the math here. And, Dave? If I am wrong, feel free to correct me. My ego is destroyed, so it wouldn't phase me in the least.

SO!

Gwyabella receives 80% of the 30% total mark that she needs. (or 24/30).

Which means that: The remaining 70% has to equal what? Well, I am too fucking math illiterate so, lets just subtract 52 from 24 and well we get 28. That is what I got out of 70. Which works out to 40%. I needed 7 more marks to get a pass. 7 marks. Each question was like 10-15 marks. Okay, slowly this realization is making me want to hurl. Moving on...

In fact, moving on from this post entirely.

DEEEEE-pressing.

Well, That blows Goats.

Well folks. I failed my accounting course.

*sigh*

I got 52%. Sadly, this is not what they want. They want 65% or higher. Well, shits. However, because I am TOTALLY positive, I can write the supplemental EXAM, because I didn't get less than 49%! Thank god for 3%.

Really, this blows. And makes me really sad. But what the hell did I expect. I barely studied, I just had to move during this hectic time, and deal with other shit I don't really want to get into, so hey. At least I retained half. I mean, that's a whole text book! Yes, this course comes with 2 full textbooks. In fact? It is 2 courses in one, spread over a lovely 10 weeks. Yup, in University you would get to do one of the two in 16 weeks. Ah, yes. So. Look on the bright side Gwynabella. You at least didn't cave in so far that you can't take the supplemental exam. YAY. *waves flag, looking totally dejected. Totally*

And yes. I cried.

Funny, I think I am going to talk about Gwynabella and her crying. See, I am quite the sensitive lass. I get teary eyed over just about anything. Some people are really uncomfortable by how easily I cry, but I have learned that it's okay to cry.

See, we live in this funny world where crying is considered a form of manipulation. Sadly, they who decides this, are correct. But only to some degree. I have my share of baggage, sure just as everyone else does. And rather than getting angry, I cry. So. If I am having a row with someone, and I get REALLY ANGRY? I cry. Because I would so much rather weep than punch them in the face. And although in the moment they may resent me for crying, because they feel I am trying to make them feel bad? I am really doing them a service by not making them feel really bad. With potential broken bones. Or ear drums. I'd mostly yell. And maybe flail a bit. But all in all, it's really ugly behaviour. I'd rather cry.

So, I am not hitting random objects in my house because I just watched 1300 dollars go down the toilet. I am simply crying.

I'll be in my room if anyone needs me.

*sniff*

OH SHITTY, SHITTY DAY

Well, the post blog award party was fabulous. It involved me having severe stomach aches and something like the bends. And not being able to eat. Because it would then want to be expelled from my body. Sadly folks I am not talking about spewing. Yeah, I know, TMI but shit (er), we all do it. Get over yourselves.

So as a result of my erm, shitty morning/afternoon/evening, I was quite exhausted and dehydrated and so I stayed home for half the day. I planned on being at work for 12:00 or a little after. So I left my house at 11:20am. The was decided because I leave my house during rush hour at 7:56am to be exact and get to work on time. Usually. I mean, there have been some days where I have been around 10 minutes late. Whatever.

So! I continue on my sojourn to the bus at a quarter after 11 and lo, I wait. And wait. And wait. Oh, lookey! There goes the third 99 B-Line, and YET! No bus for me! Joy!

So, it looks to be 11:40am. And HELLO BUS to BOUNDARY! So excited. And then not, because there was a very disgruntled and screaming child on the bus who would not shut up, and because I have been reading blogs that describe how they USED to be like that, and then they had children and oh, the mortification of realizing that you were one of those people who would glare at the poor mother trying to understand the 'BWhaaaahaaaaaawWAAA WHAAAAAAAAAA SCREEACHING SCREAMING WHAAAWHAAAAAWHAAA NAILS ON A CHALK BOARD' sounds being emitted from such a tiny body, I felt really bad for thinking 'SHUT UP CHILD, MOTHER DO SOMETHING' because the poor woman was trying so hard. She even whipped out the boob to feed the screaming spawn, and much to her dismay the babe just slapped the thing and wailed some more. I think the mom wailed too. I would, if my tit was slapped by anyone. Especially if breastfeeding makes them hurt as much as I hear it does. OUCH.

So, finally the mother got off the bus, and not that kind of FINALLY geeze, but more thank god, the mother can actually do something for her babe instead of being held hostage by all the glares on the bus (wait, whoa. Back this bus up. I am actually being sympathetic to mothers with SCREAMING CHILDREN? What the hell is happening to me????). And then suddenly we are turning off of Broadway onto Commercial. Um, dude. You are supposed to go to Boundary. Oh, and I haven't told you what time it is yet! It's now 10 past 12. That's right. It took as long as it does for me to get to work during RUSH HOUR, but um, I am only half way there. FUCK!

So, I get off the bus, and wander to the Boundary Road Bus Stop (BRBS), and while I am waiting at the BRBS a woman gets shat on by a large pigeon. Notice that the word pigeon has pig in it? Yeah, well this woman had more shit on her than I have ever seen in my entire life. It was all over her shoe, her sweater, her pants... Luckily it missed her head. It would have taken her out if it did, I swear. Oh, and the time now is 12:20pm. What, that's an hour after I left my house! Why, I could have walked here in that time.

So, waiting and waiting. And finally at 12:28pm, the bus decides to show up. As I am getting on the bus I look at the schedule. And Lo! The bus that I was on, I am CERTAIN was supposed to go to Boundary. It was due at that stop just minutes before. And I can tell you? No bus came at that time. I think the bus driver fucked up. Eh, whatever.

Anyway. I get on the bus. And it is fairly uneventful. I get off the bus (see, not really exciting) and I get to work. At 1:00pm. And worst off? The internet was down. Oh, the internet was down.

I cried.

Seriously. I don't have anything to do there, my only distraction from realizing that I don't do anything at all for a third of my 24 hour day is the internet. I don't understand people who say they would love a job where they get paid to do nothing. I can tell you right now. The novelty wears off REALLY fast.

So, now I am at home, resting from what seems to be a fairly SHITTY DAY.


Oh, and now my neighbours are arguing. Fun.

Oh! OH! I won blog of the MONTH from Wellipsis! YAY ME!

BLOG AWARD DAY

Today, I have decided that every fourth Monday of the month will be Blog Award Day.

There will be three categories:

Blog of the Month: You know, because its one that you read EVERYDAY and can't get enough of.

It can be 'Pro' Blogs or Amateur Blogs. Your blog can only be Blog of the Month once every 6 months. Why? Because I say so.

Best Randomly Found Blog: This is a blog, RANDOMLY found that you want to go back to and read. They then qualify for the Blog of the Month the following month.

The only problem with this one is it might have been seen before by you readers out there. But whatever, if I haven't seen it, its new to me.

Hot Blog: Yup. Totally gratuitous. Wow, you? Have a hot blog. You can qualify as both Hot Blog and Best Randomly Found Blog AT THE SAME TIME. Dude, you would be so cool then.

Boobie Blog: This award goes to a blogger YOU PERSONALLY KNOW (either in person or via commenting) who neglects to blog regularly. This award is also full of the most love, in a poking proding sort of way.

So! Let the Games begin!!!!



The award for BLOG OF THE MONTH goes to:

RANDOM SYNAPSES!! This sassy lass enjoys everything that starts with K. Except Wine, it doesn't start with a K, but secretly she pretends that it does so she can continue the drinking of (K)wine. Blogging regularly about her friends, her job and her run in with various flus and bugs, she is a top notch lady with awesome command of the English language and asterixes. Congratulations RANDOM SYNAPSES!!!

The award for BEST RANDOMLY FOUND BLOG goes to:

QUEEN OF NAPVILLE!!! Tag! Your Randomly Awesome!

The award for HOT BLOG goes to:

I HAVE NO NAME!! It's orange, it's got pictures and hey. IT'S ORANGE. HOT!!


The award for BOOBIE BLOG goes to:

WELLIPSIS!! Because he blogs maybe oh, 2 times a week. I mean, what. It's not like he's busy being the Treasurer of some Ultimate League, running clinics for Ultimate, really just being the DUDE of Ultimateness... or something. Not. At. All.

Boobie Blog to you DC!

And so concludes the Blog Awards.

I urge you all to do the SAME! Post about *your* Blogger of the Month, Random Awesomeness Blog, Hot Blog and Boobie Blog! 4th Monday of every Month!

EDIT!!!

I just want y'all to know, all the blogs that I post here I find incredibly interesting and wonderful to read. Random Blog I try to read at least 2 months worth of posts. Hot Blog may be about asthetics, however its content is what makes it even more hot (I can't believe I am referring to blogs as hot. But Hot Blog just sounds better than Pretty Blog, or Well Laid Out and Easy on the Eyes Blog... truly, I fret over the look of my blog constantly.). Almost all the blogs I read are of people who work and play really hard and are just trying to get by in this big crazy world. And so to you? Bravo.

This being said, these are my opinions. You all might disagree. But then? You could start your OWN Blog Awards! And then it would circle around the globe! And everyone would be giving awards to everyone else! And maybe then, when we're feeling a little sad or down, we know that someone out there is awarding us (maybe humbly, but awarding us nonetheless) with the praise that we deserve. Because yeah. It's hard out there sometimes.

*Sound of a lightbulb turning REALLY bright*

I have been thinking. *Uh-oh says the world* No really, I have. Effectively too, I will have you know.

Whoops, got mesmerized by flying candy on the television. Sorry. Where was I? Oh, right I was thinking...

I am pleased to report that I am feeling less blue! And the reason is because I just had a fantabulous conversation with my good friend Sensitive Tan about the projects we want to start in our lives. Listening to him talk about the goals he has set for him self always gets me going on what ideas I have sitting in my head. It's fabulous.

So, what are my plans? Well, I still want to get a house and a dog, which I have narrowed down to a few breeds, including the Irish Wolf Hound, because hey, who wouldn't want a dog who's top of their head comes to just under your shoulder.

And I am chewing on the idea of Arts Management, but more of a consultant. I love the arts and love helping others achieve their goals so why not help up and coming artists get their first few shows? Help them get the funding they need and the contacts they are looking for to help them achieve their dreams? I know, there is a lot more to it than just that. But it's a start. I may very well be onto something.

I finished the monkey. Unfortunately The 'Phile has the camera, but I promise, I will produce pics soon. He (She?) is so demented looking it is great.

So, what do you think a lightbulb turning REALLY bright sounds like anyway?

LIFE EXPERIENCES MEME

I stole this from Cynical Dad who I found on the Teacher's blogroll. Looked like fun, he's said 'You're supposed to take the following 150-item list and bold the items you've accomplished.' And so here it is! And just like him, my comments are in italics.


01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink - I hesitate to bold this, because I could have, but don't remember because I was drunk.
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain - Hello Grouse Mountain!
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula - my elementary school principal had a pet tarantula in his office, he named it Legs because she ate one of her legs off.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris - in 1995 on an exchange.
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights - I apparently have, but I was like 10 months old.
15. Gone to a huge sports game - I was going to see a footy game in Paris, but it was sold out. Does a BC Lions or Canucks game count?
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables - I helped my Grandma plant them, and I ate them does that count?
18. Touched an iceberg - Suprisingly no, considering I live in Canada.
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby's diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower - Thats how I fell asleep under the stars.
23. Gotten drunk on champagne - Oh having friends who loved to give you Champagne after your shows.
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope - Moons of Jupiter!
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment - I think I do most things at inappropriate moments, you know, because I am socially awkward that way.
27. Had a food fight - Probably, but I am not sure. Might have been drunk.
28. Bet on a winning horse - I plan on it. Takes a few times I hear.
29. Asked out a stranger - I gave this waiter my phone number and asked him to call me. We went out on a date and I got wasted and never heard from him again. Nice.
30. Had a snowball fight - I used to live in Alberta. I have had snowball fights in August.
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse - Of my heart...?
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking - I make it my personal mission to be the biggest asshat dancer on the planet.
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day - I adopted one for an entire 6 months!*
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment.
39. Had two hard drives for your computer - If it is where you put 2 C drives into your computer, then yes I have. One was mine and the other was the Wasbands'.
40. Visited all 50 states I haven't, but I've visited more states than provinces.
41. Taken care of someone who was shit faced - And they in turn have taken care of me.
42. Had amazing friends - HAD?! Still do thankyouverymuch.
43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales - Grey Whales off of the West Coast of Vancouver Island in March of '06.
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe - I hesitate to bold this, but I guess I went to Europe and had a backpack..?
47. Taken a road-trip - Lets go to Prince RUPERT! FUN!
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach - Ucluelet, divine Ucluelet.
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them - In some of the Pubs in England you are forced to share with strangers because there isn't enough tables.
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow - Yes at Outdoor School. It was weird.
56. Alphabetized your cds - I used to work in a record store, it sort of stuck.
57. Pretended to be a superhero - I am always imaginarily saving the world.
58. Sung karaoke - I have won a karaoke contest!
59. Lounged around in bed all day - mmm, so delightful.
60. Posed nude in front of strangers - Does streaking across a concrete floor, slipping, landing on my ass and sitting there bawling infront of all my friends count as posing?
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain - I have, and it is one of my most cherished memories ever.
63. Played in the mud - My cousin and I would get grounded regularly for this.
64. Played in the rain - I live in Vancouver. That's pretty much expected here.
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business - I used to own my own Jewlery business. Still do too, I guess.
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken - Currently so far so good.
69. Toured ancient sites
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married - February 21, 2004
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced - I still have to file, but more or less yes.
76. Gone without food for 5 days - Hello being poor in England!
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo - Three times to be exact!
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
83. Got flowers for no reason - I was given a Peony for no reason other than the fact I like them.
84. Performed on stage - Used to be an actor!
85. Been to Las Vegas - Great story of flying to Mexico to find myself, running away scared of Mexico and having to go through Vegas enroute to Vancouver and getting stuck there for 24 hours.
86. Recorded music - I did a recording for a television show because the actors couldn't sing.
87. Eaten shark - My mom served it to me in 1987.
88. Had a one-night stand - It ended up that way because um, dude was weird.
89. Gone to Thailand - I bought a plane ticket to Thailand, but never went.
90. Bought a house - Bought a condo, but that was my house.
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently - And now I can't speak either at all
(That'd be both English and French)
95. Performed in Rocky Horror - On my lunch hour at school with my friends. I was Magenta.
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
98. Created and named your own constellation of stars
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - I moved from Norwich to London to start over. I ended up moving back to Norwich to start over, over.
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking -All the time. Usually the person looking is the driver. And its usually in awe of my butchering capabilities.
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived. Yeah.
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Petted a stingray - No, but they told me to leave Mexico!**
110. Broken someone's heart
111. Helped an animal give birth - I was too young, so I watched.
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone - i broke my baby toe kicking a door jam, I jumped up like a manwoman because it was snowing, I was trying to be all Kung Fu like.
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced - Nipples, the left one 2 times, the right only once, and the belly button. Currently only the left nipple and the belly button are pierced.
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse - On my Uncles farm. The horses name was Aquarius.
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon - No, but I flew over it.
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours - I was sick for a long time and one of the side effects of the illness was SLEEP. LOTS OF SLEEP.
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat - No, but I have eaten Alligator
127. Eaten sushi - Every day if I could afford it.
128. Had your picture in the newspaper - The North Shore News. For some 'Comment on the Street'
129. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about - As the Audiophile puts it: I don't really want to do that. But if it is truly important to you, I will do it for you.
130. Gone back to school - To become an actor. Now I am a bookkeeper and learning to be an accountant. Did I mention I failed Math 3 times?
131. Parasailed
132. Petted a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes - I have a strange family.
134. Read The Iliad and the Odyssey
135. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school and read - Catcher In the Rye. J.D. Salinger. Just finished it.
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
137. Skipped all your school reunions - Haven't had one yet. This years the big ONE - OH !
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language - I used to live with Japanese Exchange students when I was a child.
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language - it doesn't work!
141. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you - Made jewelry and sold it on line, never saw the people who purchased it.
145. Had a booth at a street fair - Wasn't on a street, but it was a fair and it was outside on a giant piece of property.
146: Dyed your hair - There was a running joke for a long time where noone knew what my natural haircolour was.
147: Been a DJ - Does taking over the stereo and playing only what I want make me a DJ?
148: Shaved your head
149: Caused a car accident - Yeah, I am a real head turner! HARHAR
150: Saved someone's life

* I lived in England and when I got back for about 6 months or so I clung to my accent like a babe to her mother's teat. It was the most ridiculous accent ever.

** I actually asked 'Mother Nature' to make things jump out of the water if I was to return back home from Mexico - and sting rays started flipping and flopping out of the water. Yeah, I know. Weird.

It looks like I have 76 of them marked off which means I have 50% life experience or better known as: half a life.


EDIT!!!!!
looks like I can bold 149 - I was a little kid and was with my aunt and mom and gran, and we caused a rearender because this guy stopped to see if we all needed a ride. So I have more than Half a Life!

Monkey Weather Puppy!

I believe the blues are slowly subsiding. Last night when I got home I started knitting up a little monkey doll for The 'Phile (he had requested one). It is the UGLIEST thing on the planet, and I love it. I'll take a picture of him, so you can see what he looks like. I am curious though. I call the monkey a 'He', I wonder if The 'Phile will call it a 'She'. I say this because when we were given plants as house warming gifts, I instantly started referring to his plant as a 'He', and The 'Phile then named it 'Molly'. Which is actually more fitting than 'Ferdinand' or 'George' or whatever it was that I called it.

But I will tell you, knitting is probably one of the most serene things for me to do, next to Yoga. I could knit for days if I didn't need to do things like sleep and eat and go pee.

I finally got all my work for the weekend from my other job. 9 months of invoicing, allocating and reconcilling from 4 different organizations. And its due on Tuesday. But my boss is totally cool with me taking my time (just not too much time) - I'll be checking in with her on Sunday and letting her know the diagnosis of the 9 months.

Of Bookkeeping. Not the incubation of 'Rabies'.

And I must say, I am greatful to have all this work because I do not want to be outside this weekend. It's supposed to reach 37 degrees - which is insane for the West Coast. I don't know if it will happen, I keep getting all sorts of different predictions, but I can tell you. It will be hot. So, be careful out there. Sit on a shady patio, drink MaiTai's and make sure you are well hydrated (with Water, not MaiTai's. Although come to think of it, that sounds not too bad either.).

I am planning on starting the research process for a dog. Yeah, I know. It's in a year. But I want to be PREPARED. I don't want to run out and be all like 'WHEEE! I am going to get a dog! Oh shits I don't know what to do! Oh, the dog is DEAD? I was supposed to do what?' Yeah, no.

My dog when I grew up was a Siberian Huskey. She was a beautiful dog. She was also a stray. We found her on our porch one summer day laying on the couch. My dad was all like 'WTF?' and him being the HUGE animal lover that he is, instantly fell in love with her. But also being the type of person he is, he checked for tattoos (she was a purebred) and lo, found the breeder tag or whatever they call it. So he rings them up and chats with the breeder for a bit, trying to track down the owner.

Turned out this dog was owned by a man who really shouldn't be owning any dog. His idea of caring for a dog, and especially a dog who's body is designed for cooler climates (this summer was a particularily hot one, similiar in fact to the one we're having now) was kicking open a bag of dog food, cutting open a jug of water and leaving her outside while he went away to California.

For six weeks. On Business.

He apparently was going to take her with him but he was told that the dog would probably DIE if he left her in the car, especially in California. So, hey. He figured leaving her outside in a yard with no cover for that length of time with all the food she could eat and what, at least some water was an excellent alternative to his original, brilliant idea.

So, being the smart ass dog that she was (and boy she was a smart ass) she dug a hole out from underneath the fence, crawled out and came over to our house. We lived a good distance away, which was why we had such a hard time figuring out where she came from. There weren't many Siberian Huskies around in our neighbourhood, and I don't think they were all that common then either. So, my Dad chatted with the breeder, who in turn eventually got a hold of the owner, who simply said 'Whatever, you can have her, I don't want her anymore anyway.' And so for the next 15 years we had this beautiful dog.

But my point is this: I don't want to turn into that guy. He probably didn't think he would be that guy either. He probably thought 'Hey a dog! What a novel idea!' and really had no idea what he was getting himself into. I want to understand fully the requirements for the breeds of dogs I am interested in having. Shasta was a Siberian Huskey. She needed to be cool, and walked ALOT. She needed a certain amount of tending to; her nails, her coat. She couldn't be let off the leash because she would bolt and never come back. She was a fairly high maintenance dog. And in this household, there can only be ONE high maintenance individual. Ya Dig?

Ass Kicking The Blues.

Still feeling blue today. Blue, blue, blue.

It's really quite ridiculous however, I mean I don't think I really have anything to be blue about. Sure, the Audiophile's gone out of town for a few days, but it's not like he hasn't done that before. I suppose it really is due to the fact I need to just get out of town myself. Poor 'Phile, he watched me breakdown practically when we had breakfast yesterday morning, and then I felt like a shit and didn't want him to think I was trying to make him feel bad about going to see his family.

Or maybe I feel blue because I suffer from total job dissatisfaction. Indeed I believe this is the major cause of blueness. I HATE my job. I hate it. I can't stand selling my time for such a mundane task. And certainly it isn't something I have just settled for and bitch about. I have tried escaping the monotony of this Uber Hellish Boring Job. But you try and explain to someone who is interviewing you why you really don't have a whole lot of work experience, especially between 2001 - 2005. That's 4 years. 4 years where I was out of the job force because I was too sick to work. And I can tell you honesty won't get you anywhere. They all think you had the plague or something, and that you might relapse.

So, I suck it up. I have the good fortune of having a second job, one that I can use to my advantage in trying to find my career, I think, for the rest (!) of my life. Or at least for a few years. And the UHB Job compensates well given the tasks at hand. I can't really complain in that department. Or can I? To what level of complete dissatisfaction are you supposed to endure before you can look and say 'SCREW THE PAY, it isn't WORTH IT!'

Or, maybe I am blue because I feel like I should be doing 'biological' things. Yes folks. Biological. Meaning? Starts with a 'B' and rhymes with 'RABIES'. Incidently I chose that word because I fear the 'B' word about as much as I do the 'R' word. If it became an issue that is. I don't actively fear either the 'B' or the 'R' in general, only in direct relation to moi. Yes, those 'rabies' are lovely and nice, but I am not interesting in hosting 'rabies'. But I am fully aware of this intense biological need to produce 'rabies'. And having the capability to rationalize a BIOLOGICAL reaction, kind of freaks me out a bit. I mean I think about it. That folks, if you know me, is fucked up.

Just for the record, I have no intentions of producing 'rabies' of any sort, at least not for a while. So, I think I am going to get a dog. But you know what that means?

I would have to move. God dammit! But, as much as I love my apartment, I am wanting to move to a house, which is absurd considering how much hell I went though moving to my new apartment. But, in a year I will move to a house. Some how. And then, if I still feel the need, I will get a dog. He'd (or she'd) have a yard. I would NEVER get a dog and live in an apartment.

So, I am having a lot to consider here. A new job, so that I can get into a house where I could contemplate hosting 'rabies', but will get a dog instead who will keep me company while The 'Phile is away visiting family. Sounds nice doesn't it.

Oh, but I must say. These are some of the things that keep me going in this crazy world. Like Music, and movies and books and The Audiophile's sense of style. And stuff like this. Or this. Or this. Oh and cripes! YO LA TENGO HAS A NEW ALBUM COMING OUT on SEPETMBER 12th TITLED:

Yo La Tengo Are Not Afraid Of You And They Will Kick You In The Ass.
Now That. Makes. My. Day.

MONKEY?

the Audiophile has flown to *somewhere* this afternoon, and has left me to my own devices for the next 5 days.


So I went over to DC's place and ate steak and split up a bottle of wine with the bodacious Teacher, and chatted with the Historian. I have come to realize that I am a wonderfully sarcastic individual. Or rather, horridly crass and probably have ostercised myself from my friends. It's the booze I swear!! I hope they are looking for good therapists. I hate lousy ones. They just place their hands on their chins, nod sagely and say "I see." And they never write good perscriptions.

The teacher, sadly has the plague. Or walking pneumonia. Whichever. Anyways, she gets to take these wonderfully smelling pharmacuticals, they smell like vanilla. Weird.

So, I have decided, that while the 'phile is gone, I am going to make monkeys. I knit these monkey things, and apparently they are quite cute. I told the 'phile about one that I had made in my previous life and he requested one. I will keep you posted and maybe even produce pictures.

Well, I am tired and so good night.

I miss the phile. :(

BLAH!!

Uggh. I just can't shake it. I mean what the hell is up? I think I am going to plan a holiday for the long weekend in August. Yeah. Maybe the Audiophile and I can go somewhere cheap and nice for a change that doesn't involve too much planning and money. Or maybe we'll just wait and go over the September long weekend.

I think secretly I am jealous that The 'Phile is going away, and I am stuck here in perpetual envelope stuffing hell. It makes me even more sad because I should be happy for him that he is going. And I am. I just wish I could go with him. And so it's making me bitter inside. Any days off I have ever taken from work were always because of doctor appointments or school or some other important shite that I had to make sure got taken care of. Oh, well I did go to the Island in March. For a weekend. And that was nice, except that we spent all of Friday on the road, and all of Sunday on the road. So, um... Saturday was brill! I saw whales (even to this day, the 'Phile and I look at each other and realize the awesome experience we shared that day, so I can't really complain).

Yeah, I am jealous. Lemme see. Yeah. I feel better now that I have admitted it to myself. Oh, and um, to all of you too, evidently. But see, The 'Phile, he works really, really hard. He has suffered food poisoning and has had Calamari come out of his nose and he still goes to work. When I had the flu in February I think it was, and I was so sick, he caught it too and still went to work. He just kept going. He's a tough one that Mr. Audiophile. So he deserves this holiday. He's going to go see his family and I am so glad. I really am, even if I am so jealous I am slowly turning into a green eyed monster...BLAH!

Um

I think folks, I need a holiday. I think I need to step away from all the chaos that is everyone out there (save the nearest and dearest, y'all know who you are). Is it me or has everyone gone crazy, or have become mindless zombies?

I basically shut in this weekend with the Audiophile and napped and stayed well away from the outside world. I even ditched the cell phone (sorry Ambs Le Student, I got yer message late Sunday, that would have been totally fun, and I hope you got to go).

I don't really have much to say today.

Maybe tomorrow.

People are psycho though, so watch out.

Oh, I am in the market for an Island to purchase. Anyone got any ideas?

Dave is the king of this post.

Dave is here now, watching me post. Hence he is the king. I guess that makes me the queen. Or something. Don't tell the Teacher. She'd be mad. I think. But she's at home coughing, if she wasn't she'd be here too, and Dave would have 2 queens. Lucky Dave. Dave just said *OHHH* just like that. Really.

Anyway. I had some technical difficulties with my wireless network and the difficulties although subsided to annoyances, they still exist. Oh I haven't yet mentioned taht I am well into a bottle of wine, all to my self. Hence the terrible speling.

So, I guess I will go back to my futurama nad the company of my friend dave who fixed my computer at least for now so I could post this ridiculous post I can't believe I spelt ridiculous right, and so yeah. Buh Bye.
Oh, and back to the wine. Still have 1/3 left to go. Glug glug.

The Fifth Element is ANGER

I went to my interview today. What an awful event that was. About half way through I almost said 'Why the hell did you call me? I am not only underqualified, but I don't even know what half of these duties mean, represent or are all about.' There is nothing, NOTHING more defeating that sitting in an interview, being asked if you have any experience in A, B and C and you answer: Um, no; Sort of; Not really. This is when you wish the floor would open up and suck you out of the room and into some other establishment, say a Pub with a pint of beer waiting for you. On their tab, of course.

However, I am very VERY glad I went though with it. I felt totally inadequate but I learned that I was one of the more 'qualified' people they interviewed: There are just no people in the Arts Administration field, and especially with the kind of experience they were looking for. I told them that I understood this, and that is why I applied, underqualified and all. I wanted to reach out to that community and see if I could find a position that would allow me to develop skills in this field. That is when they told me that they are even considering revising the position into a more Junior position if the applicant was willing to get some education or professional training in the field. My response? OH HELL YEAH! (I love the school, I love it).

So we will see. Honestly it was the worst interview I had ever had, and I doubt very much that they will hire me. But if they do? Well by Good God Of Your Choice I will be stoked.


In other news:

The Audiophile and I are not allowed to watch The Fifth Element together. EVER. AGAIN.
As a result of watching TFE together, there are now phrases such as:

Look, let's not let this get to the Fifth Element (now known as TFE).

Or:

Don't make me go TFE all over your Ass.


After the 'discussion' we had about TFE, we had this conversation.

'Did you watch Jon Stewart last night?'

'Yes I did.'

'Did you see the cartoon clip (of missles) I was going on and on about ?' (I do that a lot. The going on and on part. Part of the reason why we had a 'discussion' about TFE. I don't know when to shut it. Because I go on and on. Like right now.)

'Yes I did. It made me think of you.'

'Yeah, it made me think of me too.'

'It made me laugh and think that both you and Jon Stewart are clever.'

'Did you just compare me to Jon Stewart?'

'Yeah something like that. But you don't know shit about The Fifth Element.'

'We can never watch that movie together again. Ever.'

'You got it, Pontiac.'

'Hey, you said I was clever like Jon Stewart! Aww. I like you.'

'I sure did. I like you too.'


And everyone lived happily ever after for now. Until the next time. Because really, when you spend a lot of time with someone? You are going to argue to TFE. At some point.

Remember though. Just don't let it go past TFE. Because I don't even want to know what the Sixth one would be.
Or I do, I just don't want to be involved in it.
Someone tell me.

See You Next Tuesday.

My mother and I have an interesting relationship. First off, we work together. That's 7.5 hours a day 5 days a week we spend in each other's presence. But also, she is kind of my boss. But she's my mother. Sometimes she gets the 2 positions mixed up. And sometimes she gets them mixed up in a hilarious way. For example here's an exerpt of a conversation we JUST had:

'Well, we'll just see what happens then.' (this is in reference to a situation I am not going to get into, but it's said in that mother sounding voice that basically is saying 'I am going to say I told you so when it happens.' I hate that tone of voice.)

'I hate that tone of Voice, Mother. (I call her Mother with a capital M when I am trying to be mature and dignified in our conversations that take place in her office [Bwaahaaha]) Don't talk to me like I am your 10 year old daughter, talk to me like I am your 28 year old daughter.'

'Fine then, I will just mutter 'I told you so' under my breath when it happens you dumb C**T. (yes she calls the the 4 letter C word. This her treating me like a 28 year old. Did I mention that this woman is my Mother AND my Boss?)

'I ALREADY accept the fate if it does indeed happen! God, stop being an asshole! (yes, I called my mother an asshole. Wait for it...) C**T FACE!' (yes we are in her office. At work. I get paid to call her these things.)

'No, I think you are the asshole. (by this time she is giggling like a fool) Now get the fuck out of my office... Fish C**T.'

By this time she is laughing so hard she has tears streaming down her face. And she repeats the word about 6 more times, makes a disparaging remark about ordering Fish C**T at a sushi restaurant and then seriously tells me to fuck off she's got work to do. This is my Mother people. My Mother.

Her favourite band is Nickleback, she's lost 67 lbs (some of it her mind, evidently), and her favourite word is C**T.

I love my Mother.

As The Gas Giant Turns...

I am currently experiencing an epiphany. I am not really willing to go into it too much right now, in part because it could stir up some emotions in people, and really I don't have the energy to deal with bruised egos, mine included and it's just an observation and subsequent validation of how much I really, really dislike our culture, in all its capacities. Um.. yeah. So, there you have it.

Perhaps maybe this has a little to do with my Saturn Return (actually all of my peers are in Saturn Returns, save a few who are a little bit younger, and a little bit older). It's that time folks, where the big dude in the sky with the rings around his head asks us 'What have YOU been up to the last 28 - 30 years of your life? Have you opened your eyes yet and started to rid yourself of the things that have been holding you back? And pray, when are you going to settle down and actually achieve some sort of stability, healthy stability? You would make me so much happier if you did that.'

Really, that's what he is saying. Saturn. His gassy words, yo.

Um...

I uh.. I uh... *pant* *gasp* *pant* *pant*

I uh, applied for this job last week, um... the 5th I think, yeah.. whatever day that was. It's for this non-profit art gallery. The job sounds so awesome and I am qualified for some of it, but I could so learn the rest... ah, but it seems real intense.
So I was like:

Well? Maybe I should apply. Tell you what, on the cover letter I will let them know that I really love the sounds of this job, but you know I understand if you pass me up, because I would be under qualified, but whoa, would I love the opportunity. You know, because I am totally into that kind of thing. And um, hello!??? I have always wanted to work in the arts in some capacity and both, BOTH jobs would then be in that field... So, here you go people of the Gallery, my humble resume and humble cover letter.

Yeah.

So I have an interview on Thursday.


Whoa.

Mercury...

Shame. Oh, the shame.

I have joined - MY SPACE. *sob*

I did it for Mr. Fort St. John. His band is on MySpace, and I wanted to contribute. Oh God, I hope he knows what I have done for him. *sob, sob* If you want to visit and see even more derranged shite, you can visit MY SPACE. Actually? Please, I have only one friend, and it's TOM.
*SOB*

ANYWAY...

I went to get some bloodwork done on Saturday. Now the folks who know me have seen my arms after the batterage (is that even a word?) of large needles being shoved into my arms, bruising them up like some kind of post fumbling smash hits of heroine - well, you guys - too bad I don't have a pic of this one. It hurts even to roll up my sleeves and bend my arms. I have (I kid you not) a giant purple dent in my arm surrounded by a lovely shade of green.

'Put pressure on it for a few minutes.'

I'd like to put pressure on the person who stuck the needle into my arm and leaned too far in when she took the sample. Or samples. My record is 8! What's yours?

Seriously though, when you can actually see the needle getting shorter as she leans in too far when switching the vials, and you think God, did she just go through to the other side, and then the next day you look and you think Christ almighty! she must've, or that wouldn't have happened!


In other news:

My arm hurts, but that's old news.

Did anyone feel like the sun not only was hot on the weekend, but actually HURT? I walked after my blood tests to The 'Philes house, and I swear it was not just hot, but it also felt like it stung, like being slapped with hot pieces of drywall. So, needless to say I just hung out indoors for most of the weekend feeling totally drained and almost heat stroked like.

There's a television station that plays Sienfeld and News Radio episodes. I fuckin' love it.

Reality TV - SUCKS.

Drama television - SUCKS.

JD Salinger - So good. I finished 'Franny and Zooey', and I am really looking forward to reading Catcher in the Rye. Now, I remember some of the folks in school having read that in English 12 I believe - I didn't because I was in the Idiot English Class having nearly failed English 11. But ANYWAY. I am a late bloomer in the 'Rye' Department (book, not booze) but I am really, REALLY looking forward to it.

The 'Phile just about keeled over when I told him:
a) I've never read Catcher in the Rye.
b) I've never read any JD Salinger before.
c) The Wasband HATED Catcher in the Rye.


'God, REALLY? He hated it? How could you marry someone who HATED Catcher in the Rye?'

'I don't know, he probably didn't agree with what it said or something...?'

'But he HATED IT? It's one thing not to AGREE with something, but to HATE it? I am sorry, but he has terrible taste.'

'...'

'Well, except when it comes to you.'

'Of course.'

'Of course.'

Oh, and BTW all you savvy folks. Notice things um, failing a lot or qwerky things happen where say the phone system doesn't work for a bit, or your web pages are running slow, or you for some reason can't get a signal on your phone, people are either way early or way late for various important meetings, you miss your bus, are late for work, the trusty shit you relied on all of the sudden isn't working great and generally all communication seems to have flown out the window, verbal technological or otherwise?

Um, yeah. Mercury is in Retrograde? And has been since the 4th and will be until the 28th of July.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, lovely morning...

"Here's your tupperware."

"I don't want that, I have no room for that in my purse. I'll just end up leaving it in the car."

"Okay, don't take it then. Are you almost ready to go?"

"Yup."

"What are you doing now?"

"Damn you and your evil left handedness."

"What. Are. You. Talking. About?"

"The cereal box. It's been opened and sullied by your left handedness. It's all backwards."

"Turn it around."

"Huh?"

"Turn it around. I thought you were ready to go."

"I am, I just want to fill the tupperware with cereal so I have something to eat at work."

"I thought you didn't want the tupperware."

"Well I changed my mind."

"You? Are insane."

"No, just difficult. There's a difference."

Hip Hippie Hipster Horray!

I just so had an epiphany.

I am a hippie hipster.

Is that even possible?

Oh! Wait! A Hippie Hipster Cowgirl - Weehaw. Dude. Whatev.

I have no idea why I would want to categorize myself.
But it seems to be so much fun!

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, through overt stereotyping of course.

Hippie:
I like patchuli, and eat hemp heart seeds and granola, like soy cotton clothing, wear floaty tops and flip flops when I can and like to be zen, dude. I read the 4 Agreements, and listen to sitar music while I meditate. Oh, and I like Sangria.

Hipster:
I have one of those crazy architectural hair cuts and spike it up all over the place, listen to indie rock and sometimes wear my glasses which happen to be square framed (but maintain hippie-ness through their translucent violet colours). And I smoke cigarettes, read any book by that guy who wrote 'Trainspotting' and try to look like I don't care about nuthin. Oh and I drink hard bar like Gin and Vodka. Actually I don't drink Gin, but I'll pretend to, because I am HIP dude.

Cowgirl:
I was born in Alberta.
That surely qualifies on its own. No? Oh, well excuse me.

So, like whoa. I am totally a walking contradiction. I don't need to go to the wrong bar to get beat up, I just sit with myself and be disgusted. With myself. Parts. Disgusted. You, there, left side. Disgusting smelly hippie. Well, you there. Bottom Half. Don't be so negative, Hipster. Um... Right side just punches the other sides and screams 'Getim Boys!'

To celebrate? I am going to find weird things to add to my blog. Because I know y'all would be so into that, and hey. I am freaking bored here.

Did I mention that this 3 way combo promotes insanity?

HAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAHAAAAA... ha. ha.

...

ha?

BACON! MAPLE SYRUP! umm...

Interesting. I google 'gwynabella' and I get results. I google 'gwynabella' pages from Canada and I get nada. I mean, I get it. But I find it funny. You know, because I am Canadian.

So (that was another thing I noticed when I googled myself. I use so a lot), I don't know about all of you folks, but damn, my eyes are dry! I wear contacts and I feel like I have had them grafted to my eyes with dirt. So I go and check. I take them out, squirt some saline on them and look squintingly at them and wonder if my eyes are creating a new invention of invisible concrete. So (again), I rub the shit out of them, desparate to get them clean and pop them back into my eyes, only to be relieved for about 10 minutes. Or so. And it isn't like I need to change them.. I don't think.

Needless to say, they are driving me nuts.

Looks like The Audiophile may get promoted as a result (I wrote reslut... nice) of a conflict between the owner and one of the managers. The manager walked out. My question is, who really wins here? I mean, the manager 'wins' because he basically put it on the owner by saying 'You aren't going to do anything about situation x? Obviously then situation x is more valuable than me, so fuck you.' Or something like that I can only imagine. So he gets that glorious feeling of 'Fuck you' by walking out. Um, but dude, you don't have a job now.

Or does the owner win? I mean, he runs his business as he sees fit, regardless if the manager gets his knickers in a twist over say, situation x. He just moves the next guy (in this case The 'Phile) up, and loses an already disenfranchised employee. So, yay? to The 'Phile on his sudden promotion.

I am watching the news right now, and they are talking about the missles that North Korea were firing. Now I am way far away from any political leagues/discussion groups, and will only have chats about such topics with people who know me and know me well (mostly because I am insane). But. What got me was as the news reports that the N. Koreans were participating in an anti-US thingy (the word was there and I totally lost it) and were 'showing cartoons with missles flying'. Cartoons with missles. Flying. Cartoons. Animation. Drawing that move. What animation of the Asian persuasion doesn't have um, something flying? I mean come on. Really. Some how this cartoon is linked with the urge to fire missles at all of the US. Right. Well, I guess they can't play airplane with their kids, either. God forbid.

There was something else on the news that made me snort. Oh! the CENSUS. Apparently we suck at returning the census form. But remember to keep your form handy folks, even if you pack it away and move!

Some how the census dude got into my building (lots of people get into my building... its a little disconcerting) and rings the bell. Normally I would ignore it, but I had this feeling that it was 'important'. So I open the door, and he was all like 'You didn't fill in your census form! You must fill it! FILL IT!' I told the guy that I filled mine out on line way before it was due. 'Well you should have gotten a print out. Where is it. I want to see it. It says here you haven't filled one out.'

Me: Dude, I filled one out. I only just moved here. The person you want doesn't live here.
Dude: Well, where did he go?
Me: How am I supposed to know? I think he even left the country or something.
Dude: Well do you know him? Can you call him and get him to fill out the form? Where is your print out?
Me: First, I don't know the guy who lived here, I am only going with what the landlord told me. and second, I already filled one out. Third, I moved after I filled it out, and I don't really know where the form is, considering I didn't expect that the census gestapo would be coming by demanding to see my papers.
Dude: Well, I might have to get you to fill out this one.
Me: Um, isn't it a federal offence to fill out more than one census form?
Dude: I just want your name.

So I gave him my name and ceremoniously shut my door. Census people are way too high strung. But then I just found out it costs something like $1100 per person who doesn't fill out a census. But this is from the same news cast as the N. Koreans airing missle launching cartoons fiasco.

And Portugal lost! BOO!

Holy Long Weekend Guys...

So, I don't really know where the hell the Freaky Freakin' post came from. I must have done it sometime, I just don't recall it. And I seriously believe that alcohol was NOT a factor. But I can't wager on it. That would just be stupid.

All in all, a really good weekend. Saturday was WAY too much for us being outside. People are crazy! We opted for the rest of the weekend to just stay close to home, walk around in the neigbourhoods near us and more or less just stay in and watch movies.

Got home Friday after work, got ready, clearly posted a post sans post (?) and went to meet The Audiophile chez his house. Went out for dinner.

Okay. People? Listen up.

Nyala has to be one of the most amazing restaurants I have ever been to in my ENTIRE life. If you are wondering (and I am sure you are) Nyala specializes in African Cuisine. African Cuisine to DIE FOR. We feasted (literally) on a platter of various things that contained Goat and Seafood. Good Lentil salad and a tabouli type of salad dish. And you eat with your hands. You get this flatbread, fold a piece of it between your fingers and your thumb and pinch up some of the meat and salad or whatever your desired combination is. MY GOD. It was so good. You may be taken aback a bit by the seating, it seems very casual and open, but once you start eating it doesn't even really matter where you are, the music is good, the people are super friendly and the food, well you already got the low down on that. By the way? I never knew goat could taste so good. Mmm... goat.

So after consuming way too much food and drink we went home and basically went to sleep. Yeah, the food makes you sleepy.

Saturday was a hectic day of wandering around town. We drove to my house (I had a few things to take care of) and walked from my place across the Cambie Street bridge into town. The 'Phile had to take care of his own piercing needs, and more or less just wandered around, talking and enjoying the warm sun. Went to see X-men 3 finally. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and laughed so much because a lot of the dialogue was so comic book cheesy. And Pheonix/Jean Grey was such an awesome character. I really wish she ate the world though. But then I guess there wouldn't be much of a movie left, or room left for a 4th one.

...

What the hell am I talking about, this is comic book land, you could eat the world and still come up with a sequel. Sure.

I laughed too at the 'end', you know after the credits. It got cut off at such an awkward place - almost like they found it on the cutting room floor and was like 'Oi this will work, we're missing half the frame at the end, but whatev.' and glued it to the remaining credit strip.

Then we watched Shaun of the Dead when we got home - which I hadn't seen before but purchased. Why? I have heard from folks that it is hilarious. However, what some folks might not know is Simon Pegg (Shaun) also plays a character named Tim in a BBC4 series (no longer running,) called Spaced. I had been watching that for the last while - The 'Phile borrowed it from a co-worker of his. The actor playing Shaun's best bud in Shaun of the Dead also plays Tim's best bud in Spaced, and the girl that Shaun runs into every so often during the film (notably at the end) is the same actress who plays Tim's roommate, Daisy. So there's all these little subtle jokes and nuances in Shaun of the Dead which are really REALLY evident when you've seen Spaced. It's almost a prerequisite really.

But whoa, it was like crazy town! People are insane! I couldn't stand it anymore. We even walked back from downtown to The 'Philes' house because we didn't want to deal with the public on cramped buses, or anything. It was insane.

And so concluded Saturday.

And Sunday? We walked to my house again to do some tidying up, fed the fish, got the car from the day before, parked it and wandered around the town again, but stayed well away from heavily populated areas, after the day before we were like fuck that noise, people are crazy.

Listened to some tunes: Lead Belly and Gram Parsons. So good. Got some more movies to watch. We watched Night Watch, a Russian horror film which was very good - a little hard to follow, but incredibly well done visually. We also watched BloodRayne which was the WORST MOVIE EVER. But we loved the gratuitious slow mo' recap of really bad gore scenes at the end. I never laughed so hard in my life.

So concluded Sunday.

Monday, we had a long discussion about history of the Middle East and European Empires from Alexander the Great up to now, the difference between Nationality and Culture and what really is the definition of 'Sub Continent'. I was serious when I said long. Like 2.5 hours long. Non stop. We even continued it further when we went out to grab a pint at the pub down the street. But that conversation evolved into a discussion about Realists vs Idealists and the current standard of existence among men/women. Pints turned into pitchers, as I am sure you can imagine. Then we fled the public (who were once again, crazy) and we watched movies. Duh, big surprise. UltraViolet was TERRIBLE. But we saw a preview for a film called Mirrormask which looks AWESOME. So keepin' the peepers open for that one. Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic was so depraved we didn't know if we should laugh or be offended.
So we did both.

And so concluded Monday.

But apparently not the crazy of the people. Christ. I think I might move to a small Island, to get away from these psychos. I hear Pender is nice...