EXPLICIT POST: Only read if four letter words don't offend - really it isn't that bad, but people get twisted up about all sorts of things.

Well, fuck that noise.

Yup this is in response to the ridiculous number of hours I spent on foot searching for a new place to live. OH NO, I could have stayed home, studied for this ridiculously large midterm that I have - OH NO, I decided to go apartment hunting.

I phone a few places to enquire whether I can view them tomorrow.

Them: Oh, well, no. We are showing the place today between 6:30 and 7:00pm
Me: Okay, so no showings tomorrow are scheduled.
Them: That's right.
Me: Okay. Well I will be there then. Can you describe what the place looks like?
Them: Sure, its a character building, with... blah, blah, blah. Kitchen Blah, Bachelor Blah blah blah...
Me: Alright. I will be there at 6:30pm today.

Me: Hello, I was enquiring about the ad in the paper for an apartment for rent?
Them: Yes?
Me: Is it still available?
Them: Yes.
Me: When are you showing the apartment?
Them: After 7:00pm tonight
Me: Okay (not tomorrow I guess), what is the address?
Them: Here in a ridiculously removed part of the city from where you currently are.
Me: Okay, what kind of apartment is it?
Them: Character building blah blahblahblah... Bachelor Blah Blah, Kitchen Blah Blah...
Me: Alright, I will see you at 7:00pm

Them:(MESSAGE) I currently have 4 bachelor suites for rent, some with fabulous views blah blah blah blah blah blah, will be there at 7:00pm Blah blah blah... address is more ridiculously removed than where you are, you should get a car this is far...blah blah blah.

Them: I received your message, do you have a job? Can you afford the rent? Okay, this is where it is, it is a one bedroom character building (lots of character?) and is on the 2nd floor, blah blah blah... be here at 5:00pm, the viewing will be until 5:30pm today.

SO.
I go, after I had already committed a significant amount of my time to the idea of studying for this test of mine. I call my friend (who we will call AUDIOPHILE. Side note: This is the friend who I have had stay with me at my house for the last 6 weeks, and have spent a significant amount of time with over the last 7 months. He is what I call my special friend, and we will call him audiophile. I like Audiophile.) to let him know that I am going to be at these various places instead of studying. because he gets super worried about me wandering the town looking at apartments by myself. Or so it goes.

I go.
And I have come to realize that CHARACTER is synonymous with CONDEMNED. Or at least in 3 out of the 4 that I had viewed.

The first one was above shops on Main Street. It had character alright. I particularily loved the easy to smash single pane windows and the frantically placed bars jammed into the frames. Oh, and the porch that looked like it was going to slide down off itself. I didn't go in. What was the point? For nearly 800 dollars a month, I didn't even feel safe looking at it. I felt like looking at it was an invitation to be violated and pillaged.

The second one at 6:30pm - I had a significant amount of time between the Main Street one and this one which was situated at the 1000 block of West 10th Avenue and since I ended up there so early I continued my way to the 1300 block of West 13th Avenue to scope this third Character Building and well, I was sadly not surprised. At the prices that were listed, you would have to start and wonder. And the thing is, this area of town is real nice, but somehow I found an apartment that was surrounded entirely by what looked like abandoned shacks, oh, and this place looked like it had the next number in line. Even the sun didn't shine in this small part of the street. Damn that was scary.

So I high tail it out of there. I didn't even bother to go in. I thought perhaps I would fall through the stairs.

The next one, which was the original second one, looked AWESOME, I even walked around the building (I walk around all buildings if I can, gives me an idea as to how easy it is to climb up on to the balconies). I was so excited. I really was. I called at the time that was required. No answer. So I wander around the block checking out the neighbourhood. Call again. No answer. No answer. No answer.
Fuck you, no answer.

So that was out of the question.
On to the next one.

This one? Oh, this was a piece of work. And not good work. More like I smoked too many drugs and somehow know how to operate tools to add onto my already falling apart house type of work. OH! And the person filling out forms looks like a psycho. In fact, all the people hanging around this building that is really a converted house (which can be really charming, if left to the 3 suites it was originally intended for) looked like psychos, and were strangely all male. And the character? Maybe was the guy who ran the place. Looked like a fuckin' cult. Screw that.

So, after many hours of my wandering around the town, looking at apartments, I was ready to cave in. Now folks, you may be thinking to yourself - you didn't even go into some of them, maybe you should have gone in and maybe they would have been really nice! Sure, I could have gone in. But I figure if I can, in 10 seconds, find a route to virtually every single window by climbing onto things - I ain't living there, 'specially since I will be living tout seul. It could have looked like the friggin' Taj Mahal inside and yet if you could climb sans difficulty, I would turn it down. Way too many nutbars out there.

Right. So, I started my 'pounding pavement' routine. Many places don't advertise - just post signs outside their apartment buildings and people walk around and make calls etc. So I found this one, that seems SUPER nice. Now I've got 2 jobs now. I can afford a little more. Naturally I want to do about the same as I am doing here, but if I got to spend a little more, I can.

Them: HELLO?
Me: I was inquiring about the apartment for rent? The one bedroom?
Them: WELL, (and I am not kidding about the 'yelling' caps) NO SMOKING, NO PETS. Do you understand? None, never ever.
Me: Uh, okay.
Them: NO PETS NO SMOKING.
Me: Fair enough.
Them: I mean it. WE don't want any funny business here at this place.
Me: Okay then.
Them: WHEN can you come and SEE THE PLACE?
Me: I am available right now and in the neighbourhood.
Them: WHAT? No, I DON'T LIVE THERE (said in a tone as if I should have already figured this out... so far? Very scary lady), I Don't live there, really (sounds totally put out). Besides I have a big meeting tonight, I can't come today. Can you even afford this place?
Me: Oh, fair enough... I am sorry, what?
Them: Can you come at 1:30pm tomorrow.
Me: Well, I WORK FULL TIME, so NO THAT WOULD NOT WORK (yes I am yelling)
Them: Can you even afford it, its 860 a month you know.
Me: Well, (at this point it could have been free, but anything, anything to get off the phone from this psycho) that is a little steep for me, thank you for...
Them: What? Too Steep? What the hell do you expect for South Granville? What kind of idiot are you? (seriously, she said that)
Me: Um actually I just saw a place for 650 2 blocks away, so I don't know what you are talking about.
Them: Well, you had better get that one then.
Me: I intend to, thanks for nothing.
Me: Snap my flip phone shut with as much angry force as I can muster.
Me: AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH FUCK YOU BITCH!!!!
Me: *whimper* I hate this area, people are assholes.

Yup, that call? That happened. I wanted to reach into the phone and tell her that:
I am employed by 2 companies who compensate me very well, in fact I make better money than most University Graduates, and I am currently enrolled in a very prestigious program - so important that when I am finished? I can notorize your fucking passport. So suck on that, you evil bint of a whore...

*pant pant*

I hate this part of moving.

I left work to make it to that 5:00pm hell hole place and finally got home at 8:45pm. I went back to Main, dosed off after getting on the bus to get home and had to walk down E. Pender from Main. Fun. Missed the seabus, so waited half an hour. Got home finally and soggied up a carton of kleenex.

I need a hug.

Meh.