See You Next Tuesday.

My mother and I have an interesting relationship. First off, we work together. That's 7.5 hours a day 5 days a week we spend in each other's presence. But also, she is kind of my boss. But she's my mother. Sometimes she gets the 2 positions mixed up. And sometimes she gets them mixed up in a hilarious way. For example here's an exerpt of a conversation we JUST had:

'Well, we'll just see what happens then.' (this is in reference to a situation I am not going to get into, but it's said in that mother sounding voice that basically is saying 'I am going to say I told you so when it happens.' I hate that tone of voice.)

'I hate that tone of Voice, Mother. (I call her Mother with a capital M when I am trying to be mature and dignified in our conversations that take place in her office [Bwaahaaha]) Don't talk to me like I am your 10 year old daughter, talk to me like I am your 28 year old daughter.'

'Fine then, I will just mutter 'I told you so' under my breath when it happens you dumb C**T. (yes she calls the the 4 letter C word. This her treating me like a 28 year old. Did I mention that this woman is my Mother AND my Boss?)

'I ALREADY accept the fate if it does indeed happen! God, stop being an asshole! (yes, I called my mother an asshole. Wait for it...) C**T FACE!' (yes we are in her office. At work. I get paid to call her these things.)

'No, I think you are the asshole. (by this time she is giggling like a fool) Now get the fuck out of my office... Fish C**T.'

By this time she is laughing so hard she has tears streaming down her face. And she repeats the word about 6 more times, makes a disparaging remark about ordering Fish C**T at a sushi restaurant and then seriously tells me to fuck off she's got work to do. This is my Mother people. My Mother.

Her favourite band is Nickleback, she's lost 67 lbs (some of it her mind, evidently), and her favourite word is C**T.

I love my Mother.